


Found

by SamanthaM_M



Series: The Truth [2]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: F/M, I ship them to hell and back, i dont care if incest, potential smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-25
Updated: 2016-01-16
Packaged: 2018-05-09 08:24:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 4,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5532470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SamanthaM_M/pseuds/SamanthaM_M
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Not all those who wander are lost</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Here we stand

**Author's Note:**

> I got bored so I wrote more... sinking lower to the Reylo trash, but I already had a prompt in mind so I told myself why the hell not roll with it?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone has doubts from time to time

Things settled. Everything was quiet. Rey knew it was just like holding your breath before you jump into deep unknown water. The battle was near.

Everyone at Resistance base at D´Qar was getting ready for surprise attack on the First order. Rey wasn´t. It bothered her that even though Ben provided them with every single detailed information he could, he was still locked up in a very remote cell. She knew general Organa wanted to talk to her, but Rey felt she couldn´t confront the woman without asking her why she treated her only child this way. Rational part of her brain reminded her it was because he was a murderer and traitor and didn´t deserve anything better. That particular other part of her wanted to beg general Organa to release him. Rey secretly hated her (and hated herself for that too) because she did not let her see him since they arrived. General was truly grateful for Rey bringing back her son and told her so openly, but that was it. Rey felt like she gave up on turning Ben back to the Light, she was just content with him being under her control so he couldn´t cause any more damage.

Plus, Rey´s conscience had a bad habit of reminding itself too. Nobody knew she abandoned her training to find Ben and stay with him. Everyone, including Finn and Poe, thought she sought out Ben to avenge Han Solo. Only the two of them knew it wasn´t true. Everyone also generously decided to ignore the words he addressed to her just before they put him in a cell. _I love you._ Rey knew he meant it, that it came from his heart. But she couldn´t do anything about him being in prison, awaiting his future fate, not being able to help them in this decisive fight.


	2. In the hour of need

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ask me again and I will dispell all of your doubts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pleeeeease, let me know what you think, I´m dying and only doing this for your attention

She was trying to be as silent as possible. If no one caught her maybe she wouldn´t feel bad about lying to guards. She told them general Organa requested their presence at headquarters. The lie wasn´t the only matter staining her conscience – she also stole code to the cell´s door. But her need to see the person who was behind that door was stronger than anything else in the whole galaxy. She may resented herself for caring about him, but whatever connection was built between them, it could not be broken so easily.

She slipped through the corridor unseen and tapped the code on keyboard with shaking hands. She wasn´t sure how he would react to her unexpected and unauthorized visit. Door opened with a slight hiss and she slowly entered the lion´s den.

***

He was sitting on the floor, gazing at an empty wall. He rose up to his feet, but refused to look at her.

“You shouldn´t have come.”

“I wanted to see you.”

She bit her lower lip – she wanted so much more than to just see and check if he was okay. She looked around. The cell was small but he didn´t seem to lack anything, nor food or water. He was wearing simple black pants and t-shirt that actually made him look much younger. It wasn´t necessarily bad since he always gave the impression of being only in his early twenties.

“My mother doesn´t know you´re here.”

She didn´t answer that. It wasn´t even a question, merely a statement. He saw she started to regret her coming there and so he embraced her. She pressed her face to his chest and sighed quietly.

“You shouldn´t have come here,” he repeated.

No more words were told after he said that as their bodies spoke their own language of touches and kisses. His bed was small and the cell cold so he covered her with his body.

_“When you said you loved me…”_

He didn´t let her finish the sentence and their lips move in sync.

_“I do.”_


	3. All of a sudden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is no us without you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nananannannanana....I´ve gone crazy cause of reylo I swear. nevermind, I´m off to watch some Adam Driver interviews on yotube

He hears footstep and his body gets ready for attack. He recognizes her light footsteps by now and can tell for sure that this is not his Rey. The doors open and his breathing calms down. He steps aside to let the person in. In a dim light he can see his mother´s troubled face.

***

“You´ve never been an easy child to bring up, Ben.”

She´s sitting on his bed and he lies next to her with his head in her lap. She plays with his raven hair just like she used to when he was a little boy. He remembers those carefree times when his only worry was lost plushie tauntaun and if dad would be there to kiss him good night. 

“You were never easy parents to get on with.”

She says nothing. Maybe she begins to realize how he saw them during his whole childhood – dysfunctional marriage, constant arguments and fights, his father leaving them all alone, mother always having some important sessions. Yes, he wasn´t an easy child, but they weren´t easy parents either.

“Why did you come here?”

No answer again.

“Is it because the attack you planned so carefully failed? You should have known that, I told you Hux wasn´t gonna give up easily, he is….” 

She hushes him with a kiss on his forehead. He says no more. He does not dare to reach and read her mind, after all she was the first one to teach him those little Force tricks. He was supposed to know better than that. Be better than that. But he failed miserably. And yet, she´s still there, holding him like nothing happened between them, as if no time have passed and the man she loved didn´t die at hand of her only child. 

“You will never win without my help. That´s why you came, didn´t you?”

She takes her time with the answer.

“You are the only one who can defeat Snoke and bring down the First order.”

He can hear it in her voice. She is desperate, otherwise she wouldn´t come to him for help. He is secretly glad she doesn´t know yet about Rey visiting him almost every night and their passionate love-making. 

Leia gets up to leave and he accompanies her to the door. She looks at him again.

“It´ll be an extremely dangerous mission. I´ll give you some time to think it through. Not only for your own sake, but for the sake of your unborn child.”

All of a sudden there was no oxygen in his cell and he couldn´t breathe.


	4. Not like this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When you love someone at the wrong time and wrong place

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fanfics is becoming more meta than Episode VII. Nah

They went on like that for several weeks. Rey sneaked off on every occasion she had to be with Ben. She was living in a false hope that no one noticed her absence.

It hit hew with an unexpected force. She was tired all day and had weird cravings. She chose to ignore those confusing signals her body was sending to her brain, she kept lying to herself, because she was scared. She kept telling herself it was nothing, it would pass soon. She had no experience with pregnancy or children, so she kept it secret even from Ben. But there was one person who couldn´t be so easily deceived. 

***

“Rey!”  
She stopped walking with an uneasy heart. She normally loved hearing that voice, but she felt it was about to deliver the news she didn´t want to hear. 

“I think it´s time we talk.”

General Organa took Rey to her private quarters. She´s never been there before and she knew nobody was allowed to go in. She sat down on a comfy sofa and crossed her arms on her belly. She did it unconsciously, but it still brought a smile upon Leia´s face. Sad smile it was, because what she was about to do was an unpleasant thing, but she believed it was her duty to do so.

“Rey, you are with child.”

Rey faintly nodded and a single tear found its way out from the corner of her eye. 

“I know its Ben´s child. And that you haven´t told him about it yet.”

Rey said nothing to that, just kept her head high for she felt like she was about to crumble down. She and Ben, they loved each other and she wouldn´t let anyone hurt their baby.

“I know you´re carrying my grandchild, but that´s not what troubles me right now.” Leia sat next to her and took Rey´s hand. “You´ve been pregnant for only few weeks and I can already feel the baby in you. The Force is really strong with your child, Rey. We know Snoke is searching for Ben. I can´t even imagine what he would do if he found out there was a child, a possible apprentice, this strong.”

“What do you mean?” Rey´s voice was hoarse from all those tears she couldn´t stop. 

“I suggest you go into hiding right now and after the baby is born we send it somewhere safe with a trustworthy guardian. It will be for your own good.”

As she finished those words, Rey felt a bile rise up her throat, but it wasn´t pregnancy sickness. It was pure hate.


	5. All I want

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He wants to be with her, but also do what is right

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like letting you wait for two days was a crime! I´ll try to write more soon!

She didn´t show up for several days. He can´t even sense her with the Force, no matter how hard he tries. It makes him anxious, not being able to feel her reassuring presence… her and her child. Their child.

Since his mother told him about the child he´s been alternately worrying about Rey and the mission his mother suggested. He wanted to decline it at first. It was insane, he couldn´t take on Snoke all by himself. It wasn´t like he never thought about surpassing his former master, he just believed he wasn´t ready. He didn´t even finish his training and he was particularly aware of his weaknesses. 

She was his weakness. The child was his weakness. He just began to realize how stupid, foolish and irresponsible it was to give in to her. It wasn´t the right time to have a baby and that was an euphemism. It was the worst time for their child to be born at. She wanted a family she never had. He wanted for someone to fill in that void inside him. She dragged him out of the Darkness, she brought him back to Light. But he was scared. How he could go now and face Snoke when he was so vulnerable? And he was sure the supreme leader would pull information about Rey out of him. He simply couldn´t allow that. He´s sweating and losing his temper again just at the idea Snoke finding Rey, torturing her, taking away their baby….

His grim thoughts are interrupted by the sound of door opening. General Organa enters. He doesn´t wait for her to speak first.

“Where is she? Is she okay? I need to see her…”  
“She is safe.”  
He closes his eyes. He won´t throw another rage fit. But he knows the truth.  
“She´s not here. You sent her away…”  
“Ben, I know it´s hard, but it´s for her own safety. We need to focus on more important matters now. Are you ready?”

Deep down in his heart, in his consciousness and in his soul he feels he´s not, but he still nods anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really sorry, but my finals are closing in on me and I haven´t studied at all, so you can imagine....


	6. What can I do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There´s nothing left for her to do, just wait

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It´s insane how I neglect my other duties for writing this piece of garbage

The droid-maid takes away unfinished plate of food. Everything else remains perfectly still and clean, including young woman leaning against the window. She´s been pregnant for four months now and it began to show. She presses her palms against her belly. She waits.

It´s only been several weeks since she arrived on this planet, but she already grew restless and tired of all of it. She never thought it was possible for her, desert rat and scavenger, to get tired of looking at trees, slowly flowing water and walking in gardens, but here she is. It´s not like she lacks anything – there is plenty of food every day, she can take baths anytime she wants and everything around her is the best of the best, but it doesn´t help her to feel any less uneasy and impatient.

Also, she never thought it was possible for her to despise General Organa, but that happened too. It was of her making that Rey is now here, on this lonely and distant planet, guarded by a small army of droids, kept safe and tucked away _“at least until the baby is born”._ Rey didn´t put up a fight. The baby was weakening her, taking too much energy from her. But if she had a word in all this, she would chose to stay at Resistance base to be closer to him. General refused to tell Rey anything about his current whereabouts or her plans with him. She is stuck here, unwillingly, forced to sit and wait without a single slice of information about the man she loved.

She can still sense him. The connection between them is too strong now to be cut off by any distance. She´s stronger with Force than him, they both know it. She lets go of the curtain and walks away from the stunning sunset she´s been watching for last hour. Suddenly, she feels a stab of sharp pain in her chest. _Something´s happened to him._


	7. At the end of things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo remembers Rey... his Rey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don´t even know how I wrote this... but who cares, right?

He felt a stab of sharp pain in his chest. Pain, the main indication he was still alive. He laughed and coughed up a little blood. He felt a distant rumbling as the temple he was in started to collapse. His whole body was aching and bleeding and he knew he wouldn´t last long like this. But he still laughed anyway. His mother was right. He did it. His old master was dead and destroyed and along with him what was left of Knights of Ren. He rolled to the side, leaving a long blood stain behind him. So this is the end, he thought.

The end where everything was falling apart and his wounds were eating his flesh and he only had minutes left to live. There was no chance she could hear him now on the verge of death. She was on his mind anyway. The only thing to live for, to die for. She and the child she was carrying under her heart.

***

_He was kissing her neck and she moaned so sweetly it made him smile. He stopped what he was doing for a while to look at her precious face. She frowned. So he touched her again with his lips, bathing in her skin, in her scent, in her everything and everywhere. He was so lost in her…. And she gave herself to him. Her mind was like an open book and all he could read in her was desire. So he kissed her more and their hand entwined._

***

Falling into unconsciousness he heard a sound. Something different from falling stones and block and the noise of destruction. He didn´t recognize it at first, but just as he slipped into that blessed state of emptiness, two X-wings fighters flied across the dark sky above him.

“There he is, Black leader, I located him!”

“Thank you Finn, my brother!”

“We better pick that fucking bastard up now until it´s not too late or Rey will never forgive us…”


	8. Only us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They feel the same things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cannot believe that writing this chapter was so much more fun than working on my essay! :D

Their minds are connected. There is no he or she. She is floating in a darkness, but so is he. He is suffering in an immense pain, but so is she. And it´s sharp around the edges and it´s tearing their very core, the secrets they´ve been hiding within. 

All the hate he ever felt flows through her. His childhood, so seemingly happy and peaceful; him growing up constantly watching his parent’s conflict, permanently feeling underrated and overlooked, forever alone even in a crowded city, with no friends and no one to look up to as his mother always remembered to him of the family legacy, but he wasn´t ready to fall in line. And his uncle, so cold, detached and indifferent during his training, showing his only nephew no affection at all. So desperate he was, so lonely, so crushed under the pressure of expectations he couldn´t possibly meet. It was so easy to give in to that calling.

All that sadness, the only thing she ever knew. Her childhood memories filled with sand and cruelty of her new master, she being a slave, laboring for a little food she got after a day of hard work, no friends, no parents, no mentors, no one to talk to, only sand dunes and smugglers and scoundrels and drifters and thieves. The feeling of constant lacking and starving and craving and desperate need for things she couldn´t even begin to imagine. How could she strive for bigger goals when all she dreamt of was cold, clean water? Her fingers hardened over the time, but not her heart. It remained as pure and childish as it was the day she was left on that barren wasteland. It was so easy to give in to that calling. 

They both feel it with same intensity. They were meant to be together. And them being divided – it simply cannot happen. They both feel it – their child is moving inside her.


	9. Things that matter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unexpected visitor comes to see him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and I aaaam a terrible piece of lazy shit for keeping you waiting this long, but I have seen TFA in cinema FOUR TIMES now, which makes me a recordman, doesn´t it?

“I need to see her. I need to see her.”  
He was mumbling in pain, barely conscious, the thought of her the only thing keeping him from giving into a crushing agony. Pictures from his final battle with Snoke flashed in front of his eyes. The last thing he remembered were muffled words whispered by a shocked voice of a young man.  
“He lost his right arm.”

***

He was standing on a balcony, overlooking the green country lying in front of him. They haven´t released him from the supervision of medical droids, but he was granted a free movement across the Resistance base. He knew it was of his mother´s doing, even though she didn´t show up to see him. Nobody did. Nobody celebrated him as a hero. Snoke was dead, the First Order shattered, all thanks to him, but he was no hero. He merely redeemed himself in the eyes of the Resistance generals. 

“I see you got out of bed today.” 

He recognized the voice, but didn´t turn around. There was still too much of grief in that voice for him to face it. He flicked when he felt someone touching his new prosthetic arm.

“I swear those things are getting better with every generation. It´s much smoother than mine.”  
“Is it, uncle Luke?” 

Kylo still couldn´t look the man in the eyes. Not after what transpired between them all those years ago and Han´s vain death. But Luke continued to talk as if he purposely didn´t notice the tension in his nephew´s muscles.

“It seems it´s a family tradition for Skywalkers to lose their arms. You´re the third one – after me and your grandfather,” he sighed.  
“I don´t want to talk about it.” Kylo immediately snapped back at him. “Why did you even come here? To remind me of my past mistakes? Do it, you have been right all the time, you… “  
His hand slipped off the balcony rail. He still haven´t gotten used to having a robotic arm.  
“No. I have come here to talk to you as my former apprentice and my nephew.”  
“Why did my mother send you?”  
“To be honest, she didn´t send me. After Rey abandoned her training, I returned to Leia by myself. My sister told me about the child.”  
Only now Kylo raised his head to look straight at his uncle.  
“What did she say? Did she mention where she sent Rey? I need to know!” he shouted.  
“Calm down now, Ben. You´ve always been impatient. Yes, I know where Rey is.”  
“Will you tell me?” he almost begged. Luke only shook his head.  
“Your mother, she had a council with the others. As a result, you will soon be send to an exile on planet Cadca.”  
For a moment Kylo felt like he was under Snoke´s deadly grip again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cadca is my hometown, not an actual planet from SW universe. I was too lazy to come up with better name for a planet, hope you forgive me


	10. Not for better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And he waits

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, but not sorry

Few days have passed. Nobody came to take him, but he noticed the droids didn´t allow him to leave his room and wander around anymore. Luke didn´t visit him second time and there were no news, only waiting, slow and cruel. He thought of Rey – how was she? Who took care of her? When was the baby due? If he was to be exiled, he would never know if he had a daughter or a son. Or his child´s name. He kicked the walls of his room just like he used to during his temper tantrums. But it was of no help.

He was lying on his bed, when he heard those well-known steps. The bile rose up in his throat. He had a bad feeling about this.

“I hope you´re feeling better now.”

His mother entered without a greeting and he didn´t bother to respond. From the look on her face, it was clear that they both knew what she came to tell him. She held her head high like the general of stone she was. 

“You will leave tomorrow. Everything has been arranged.”  
“How dare you come here so coldly and simply inform me of this? Why there hasn´t been a trial?”  
He stood up abruptly to face her, no anger, but sadness glaring from his eyes this time.   
“Shut up! There was a trail – while you were still unconscious. And your punishment is quite light compared to the gravity of your crimes. So don´t talk to me like that!”  
There were tears on her cheeks, but she didn´t allow herself to cry for long.   
“You will hear your judgment tomorrow at noon. Then they will escort you.”  
With those words general Organa was about to leave. There was a slightest tremble in her arms as she turned her back on her only son, leaving him for good, never to see him again.   
“That´s all you have to say to me? Have you no concern for your grandchild growing up without a father?”  
“I´d rather have it growing up without a father, than being raised by a murderer!”  
Heavy silence fell between them.   
“Mother, forgive me….” He whispered. But it was too late. She was gone.


	11. Leaving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leaving is hard, not saing goodbye is harder

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bitches, you though you´ve seen the last of me.... well, I´m back

There´s just the slightest sting of guilt as he enters Millenium Falcon and start the engines. He tries to push away that warm feeling of familiarity that floods him immediately. It´s followed by nothing else than remorse and pity and regret. It seems like they are going to be his constant companions from now on. He has to learn how to live with the guilt. 

When he leaves the base, no one tries to stop him. He believes it was of his uncle´s doing, but there is no time to ponder over it. There is no time to look back at Resistance base. There is no time to say goodbye to his mother, to Chewie. He still loves her, loves his family, but his new one is more important. His mother was right anyway – he couldn´t stay. No matter how much sorry he was, no matter how many time he apologizes, no matter how much he atoned for his sins – he would never be able to set things right, to make it up to her. And the rest of their friend and everyone in Resistance – they had no reason to keep him alive. Leaving everything behind was the only option. 

“You´ve helped him.”  
“I figured out you wouldn´t find the strength to do it.”  
“You will miss him.”  
“Would you stop with that?”  
Luke and Leia were standing in front of guard tower in shimmering dawn, once again watching Ben leave.   
“I´m sorry,” she said in a weak voice. “Sorry I couldn’t do more for him, wasn’t able to save him.”  
“We´ve done everything we could,” said Luke and put an arm around his sister´s shoulders.  
“Still – I hate watching him leave.”


	12. The End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The hardest part of ending is starting again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to thank my best friend seeyouwithyourlaughterlines for support, beta-reading and forcing me to write a happy ending!

The child inside her grew restless with every passing day. She can feel it. It´s getting bigger, its heart is beating strong. Tiny hands, fingers curled into fists, like it was ready to fight, tiny legs kicking… like it sensed something was off long before his mother did. 

She felt his pain, but that was weeks ago. She can´t feel him anymore through the Force, but somehow she know he´s not dead. But the fruitless days go on and his connection to that eternal light surrounding her weakens. That energy is now concentrated in her belly, inside that precious little human being who was only about to see the light. And she worries.

***

In the years that came after, if someone asked him how he found her, he wouldn´t know how to explain it. Maybe it was the light in her, calling and pulling him towards her again. It was all too much like coming home… flying Millenium Falcon with his father again, his mother waiting with her arms open, lots of laughter and new, exciting things to talk about. In the end, he realizes that not everything about his family and childhood was as terrible as he used to believe. That not everything about his future is as dreadful and dark as he used to imagine. She´s there to make things right again, to take him and reshape him to the man he was once supposed to become. 

It seems like a dream. She might as well be a figment of his dreams – he hasn´t seen he in months and the pregnancy changed her a lot. She´s so beautiful he feels he´s not worthy of any of it. He kneels in front of her and kisses her belly. Without saying a single word they both know what they wanted and needed to say to each other. Their minds clicks together and it feels so natural and right, more than anything before. Long moments pass and after what feels like an eternity, he finally speaks.  
“What will we name her?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bye and thanks! :)


End file.
